sibling revelry
i envy my sister. she's got a family of her own now, and i'm somehow too scarred at the moment to even actively get into another relationship.
i'm afraid, i fear commitment at the moment. i fear the heartaches that may ultimately be associated with it, i fear the rejection, most of all i think i fear knowing that i've found the one that completes me and she just doesn't see it the same way or that she's moved on to another life and i'm still here holding on to a torch burnt down to its embers.
sure, i find solace in talking with other intelligent beings in this planet of ours, i may even feel that i might be falling for one, but i restrain myself from doing so.
snap mentioned something before about wanting to have and be in a lasting relationship: we're all unique in our own way, just like everybody else in the world is. that's probably just another way of saying that you're nobody.
that then, is the exact reason why people crave for relationships, aside from us being intrinsically social creatures -- that it is an affirmation of our purpose on this earth. that we mean for something, that by having somebody there as a witness to our lives we're confirming the value of life itself, and that we're not just using up space. be it for good or naught, our existence here has meaning. heaven only knows what the hell it is.
sis and i were "text chatting" last night, and i told her i missed our conversations about life and love in general, and how she always milked my noggin for insights in relationships. it was always odd, since she's the older one, but i seemed to be the one more traveled in the arteries of love.
she told me that she still had her questions.
i find that i still do myself.
i'm afraid, i fear commitment at the moment. i fear the heartaches that may ultimately be associated with it, i fear the rejection, most of all i think i fear knowing that i've found the one that completes me and she just doesn't see it the same way or that she's moved on to another life and i'm still here holding on to a torch burnt down to its embers.
sure, i find solace in talking with other intelligent beings in this planet of ours, i may even feel that i might be falling for one, but i restrain myself from doing so.
snap mentioned something before about wanting to have and be in a lasting relationship: we're all unique in our own way, just like everybody else in the world is. that's probably just another way of saying that you're nobody.
that then, is the exact reason why people crave for relationships, aside from us being intrinsically social creatures -- that it is an affirmation of our purpose on this earth. that we mean for something, that by having somebody there as a witness to our lives we're confirming the value of life itself, and that we're not just using up space. be it for good or naught, our existence here has meaning. heaven only knows what the hell it is.
sis and i were "text chatting" last night, and i told her i missed our conversations about life and love in general, and how she always milked my noggin for insights in relationships. it was always odd, since she's the older one, but i seemed to be the one more traveled in the arteries of love.
she told me that she still had her questions.
i find that i still do myself.
posted by Sascha at
2/21/2005 09:10:00 AM
1 Comments:
hey bro,
you'll eventually find "the missing piece" (Shel Silverstein is the author of that book, i think) to complete you. but in the end, i hope you find out too that you first have to be "complete" to have a fulfilling relationship. One cannot expect another person to complete one's self or else the relationship will not quite succeed.
on the other hand, that's probably snap's problem. she is "incomplete" and tries to find "completeness" in you. until she "completes" herself, she can never find satisfaction in any relationship, no matter how much you love/loved her.
hey, you can write an entry on it. gotta go now, your nephew wants to be carried. maybe you can write about Gregorio Jose :) I emailed a picture.
love,
Achie
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