the scabs that i pick

today's my last day house-sitting.

been doing it since thursday last.

it helped, i think, since i was away from familiar grounds --- grounds which snap and i walked.

it's ironic though.

the house i sat for is actually even closer to snap's place.

thus, i constantly had to physically force myself not to drift towards her neighborhood. even had to say it out loud too.

damn.

i miss that woman.

i know though, that i cannot hold on to a love that only i am so stubbornly doing so. the other party has up and left. i'm the one here, wallowing in self-pity, and it disgusts me.

i'm the only one left in love.

or so i believe.




one good thing about all this soul-searching crap that i had to endure though:

i think i'm beginning to sleep better now.

but that still doesn't stop me from thinking of her.