o solo mio

after tossing and turning on my bed for an hour, i have come to the conclusion that i can't sleep. so, here i am, typing once more. i truly don't know what is keeping me up. perhaps it is because my muse is somewhere out in the ether, metaphorically speaking.

i can't truly blame her; in fact i am proud of her for holding back from this nasty fascination. we all have our weaknesses; some are just a tad more enticing.

speaking of weakness, i find myself obsessively looking for some songs from the old country. it's weird, really. i can truly say that i didn't fully appreciate them when i was back there, and yet i now look for them like a passion.

i suppose that i didn't know how loud i was playing them until my grandmother who's visiting, came down to grab a drink of something to quell her stomach: she probably thought that i was her dearly departed ex-husband come to haunt her, what with the morose timbre of the vocalist coming from the laptop's speakers. the only reason that she probably came down and made herself known was the fact that i caught her sneaking a peek from around the corner. else, i hazard a guess that she would've just gone back to her room unsure if i were just a manifestation of her wild imaginings.

i think i'll pretend that it wasn't me that she saw tonight when she asks me on the morrow. in the meantime, i've a promise to keep, thus i'm now off to bed.