dreams of futures past
they say that the things that we do in life is what defines us as individuals.
funny thing though, they never truly tell you this until you've made some mistakes along the way. some of these mistakes are fortuitous, and others may just be downright contemptible.
i suppose the reason that they tell you this after some "life-altering" occurrences and not prior is so that you wouldn’t second-guess yourself. imagine a child of 7, for example, having to decide on whether to get a pet hyena versus a platypus. all facts are placed in from of him/her and then that child is given an ample amount of time to decide on which to choose, as well as the possible repercussions of their decision --- it’s enough to keep the child forever miserable and anticipating the worst possible scenario in whatever else they’d have to do in life.
thankfully, i cannot really think of anything that i can possibly truly regret at the moment, but an incident happening recently has prompted me to remember some goofs that i've done way back when i was still in elementary.
i used to be painfully shy when i was younger. to compensate, i joined the theater group in grade school. what i was not anticipating though, was the necessity of an audition to secure a role.
now, i was perfectly content with not vying for any juicy role. that is, until i saw her.
there aren't many beauties to speak of in the school that i went to -- sorry, there weren't any beauties, period. i went to an exclusive boys' school -- so when one did pass by, everybody turned to look.
well, this was no exception. being an all-boys school, it was imperative to "borrow" some girls from the neighboring schools, lest we ended up with Death of A Salesman or some other play that didn't need much female cast as that year's play each year.
thus, i came to a crossroads in my young life: should i try out for the role that'll eventually become her love interest, or would i stay safe in the shadows and just look at her longingly?
i tried for the role. couldn't sing a tune to save my own life.
ended up as one of those faces in the crowd.
i could still look at her, but that was the extent of my connection to her: always seeing, never meeting.
oh. i got invited to join this web page that has all the former players. it's like going through auditions all over again.
funny thing though, they never truly tell you this until you've made some mistakes along the way. some of these mistakes are fortuitous, and others may just be downright contemptible.
i suppose the reason that they tell you this after some "life-altering" occurrences and not prior is so that you wouldn’t second-guess yourself. imagine a child of 7, for example, having to decide on whether to get a pet hyena versus a platypus. all facts are placed in from of him/her and then that child is given an ample amount of time to decide on which to choose, as well as the possible repercussions of their decision --- it’s enough to keep the child forever miserable and anticipating the worst possible scenario in whatever else they’d have to do in life.
thankfully, i cannot really think of anything that i can possibly truly regret at the moment, but an incident happening recently has prompted me to remember some goofs that i've done way back when i was still in elementary.
i used to be painfully shy when i was younger. to compensate, i joined the theater group in grade school. what i was not anticipating though, was the necessity of an audition to secure a role.
now, i was perfectly content with not vying for any juicy role. that is, until i saw her.
there aren't many beauties to speak of in the school that i went to -- sorry, there weren't any beauties, period. i went to an exclusive boys' school -- so when one did pass by, everybody turned to look.
well, this was no exception. being an all-boys school, it was imperative to "borrow" some girls from the neighboring schools, lest we ended up with Death of A Salesman or some other play that didn't need much female cast as that year's play each year.
thus, i came to a crossroads in my young life: should i try out for the role that'll eventually become her love interest, or would i stay safe in the shadows and just look at her longingly?
i tried for the role. couldn't sing a tune to save my own life.
ended up as one of those faces in the crowd.
i could still look at her, but that was the extent of my connection to her: always seeing, never meeting.
oh. i got invited to join this web page that has all the former players. it's like going through auditions all over again.
posted by Sascha at
8/03/2004 02:40:00 AM
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