good times

i just came back from going out dancing two hours ago. i'm not even home yet; i'm crashing over at ct's place since i'm way too lazy to drive home.

it's roy's birthday on the 19th and since we haven't gone out since he left the dance studio well over a year ago, i finally relented and agreed to going out for some salsa dancing with him.


there were four of us in the group: roy, his gal, ct, and yours truly. initially, i felt so out of it, since it HAS been a long time. the first person that i danced with, my hands were clammy and shaking. it went better than i thought, so i celebrated by getting myself a bottle of corona. after downing half of that, i just said to myself: "screw it, you're here to have fun. who the hell cares what other people think anyway?"

so, i did.

there were a few things that i found out about myself tonight: i still consider dancing as just a job. sure, i get to be part of the top twenty movers and shakers of the world, but when it comes to the real world, i suck. i have also come to the conclusion that i will never really get that great with my dancing, for the simple reason that i hardly ever just cut loose. i worry about what others think of me too much, that it transfers over to my movement. i believe that the only reason that i did get to relax was the fact that i didn't know who the people i were dancing with, nor did i care since the chances of ever seeing them again are quite nil.

i did tell the person getting the admission fee that ct and i are brothers and that we've been dancing for the whole of our lives. she said that i danced good. she probably believed my story OR she didn't and that i sucked big time and was only trying to boost my ego.

i did have one thought through my brain the whole night: mi fidanzata. i just wished that she was my dance partner both off and on the dancefloor and that she were with me.



well, there's always the next time.